A week earlier, a very athletic looking African American guy was doing sprint intervals on a treadmill TWO MACHINES OVER. His funk was even worse than Gargamel’s, and I had to resort to turning my dual treadmill fans onto ‘HIGH’ in an attempt to drown it.
I don’t care what anyone says on this subject, but there is no way that when someone comes in with a clean shirt and deodorant, do they excude a smell as revolting as these two protagonists of nostril pain.
Here are a few rules for having good kharma at the gym for those who aren’t aware.
At bare minimum wear a clean shirt
Don’t wear a shirt that you’ve already poured 40-minutes worth of sweat over two days into. On occasion, I’ll wear a shirt again, but its rare. Some say, “I’ve got my workout clothes, and I’ve only got 2 shirts.” Oh ok, buy more, with the advent of Walmart you should be able to get some plain ones for $2.
Workout towel required
How many times have I seen a person sweating like a bush-pig only to leave the cardio equipment covered in your skin juice. Gross. Please bring a workout towel, so you can wipe your sweat as it gets dripping.
Wipe down your equipment
This golden rule of kharma is usually in the ‘rules’ section at a bunch of gyms. It is, unfortunately, rarely enforced. Do everyone, and yourself a favor and do a quick wipe of the equipment before leaving. (Where your back and butt have been)
Don’t spit in the water fountain
Have you ever gone to get a drink from the water fountain and wondered what was clogging the drain? *Gag*
Cover it up
Ok, we’re not in ancient Greece anymore, so I yell “Cover up your junk!” so all the old men can hear it. Mate, I’m no homo-phobe but I’d love it if I don’t have to see more than one penis each day.
I hope you take your time and follow these, the gods of gym will bless you for it.
Anything I’m missing that you guys have noticed?
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3 responses so far ↓
1 Frank // Jul 25, 2007 at 9:33 am
You could add that one should wipe-down the equipment with the anti-bacterial spray that the gyms often provide in those plastic spray-bottles. You can find them lying about in the gym. Hey, this stuff is free to use, so why not?
2 Donovan // Jul 25, 2007 at 11:34 am
Good point Frank. I haven’t seen those around my 24 hour Fitness though. Perhaps they are there but haven’t noticed. I’ll look out for them. Maybe they have wipes…
3 Steveo // Jul 25, 2007 at 8:00 pm
Good post but I would like to ad a few more things… ok BOYS (not men) pick up after yourself, wet towels on the benches and floors in the workout areas and in the locker room.(LAZY/GROSS) Wash out the sink after you shave or brush your teeth!!!(Nasty) Throw away Gatorade, water, sport drink, and other wrappers and bottles.(WOW the trashcan is 3 feet away!) I dont want to touch your trash or sweat/spit covered water bottle you left on the bench!
I am 35 and have been around gyms for 20 years from Detroit to Scottsdale Arizona and these little pigs are getting worse! FACT the nicer the gym the more little pig boys! OH YEA! One more thing… TALK to people on your time not mine!!! Sitting on a machine for 20 minutes and running your mouth like a little girl about how bad your wife or girlfriend is treating you makes me 1 wait and 2 makes me sick because you have NO BALLS to stand up to your woman.(Ask her for your balls back) FACT 100% of the time if I ask you are you done on this machine you say “one more set” and keep running your mouth! GO TO STARBUCKS IF YOU WANT TO RUN YOUR MOUTH!
WAIT! One more thing… Put the weights back after you are done! Remember when mommy told you to put your toys away??? In the middle of the floor does not count, dumbells on rack and plates on stands. I could throw the 55 pound dumbells through your windshield when you take them 100feet from the rack and I have to play lets find the dumbell game! Try putting your toys/dumbells back as a part or your workout, OK pumpkin?
WhoooooHooooo! Yea! I feel a lot better!
Take care brothers,
Steveo
Mesa Arizona
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