Everyone has seen this person, and we all love getting to see a glimpse into their world. We all wonder… what does this person have that draws me like an magnet towards them?
Discover how someone with charisma does it…
What Is A Social Magnet’s Character?
They project an aura most of the time. They have a particular charisma which reverberates the phrase “I need to know this person” in your mind.
They don’t have to be wealthy, although some are.
They don’t have to be overly good looking, although some are.
They don’t have to be well-travelled, well-read, or well-endowed, although some are.
They don’t have to be humorous, but some are.
What Draws You To A Social Magnet
What is it that draws us to them? It’s the same feeling you get when you meet that beautiful woman that spikes a gut level interest in you. You really want to know them - and you don’t know why.
I think it can be nailed in one word: value.
These people, no matter their background, have value to you personally.
This value is a broad concept, so let me break it down.
Value can be any number of things that you personally need.
Here are a few “values” that people can seek in others:
- Fun
- Wealth
- Security
- Social status
- Wisdom
- Maturity (Decision-Making)
- Discipline
- Beauty
- Friendship
Normally, someone that can be labeled a social magnet has three or four of these qualities.
The reason these people are drawing people into their world, is because they have a strong handle on some of these qualities. Those who are seeking these values, often subconsciously, feel a void being filled by being around these people.
Let’s break the principle down in a real life situation:
I was talking to a 32-year-old businessman, the conversation was running at a normal pace, and I was having wandering thoughts. Then the businessman said, “I just arrived back from the south of Brazil where I’ve been surfing for the last 3 months.” Now, all of a sudden I had a spike in interest. Who I thought was a boring businessman, quickly became a hub of wisdom and mentor of fun, which in turn made me respect him. He now had value for me, and I found him a much more interesting person. This happened near instantly, and when it happens you can see the social value shifting right before you’re eyes… which is exciting.
Why do people that are positive seem to be repelled by people of negativity and depression?
They have NO value for them.
Like I mentioned earlier, these social magnets exude that they can offer you something, and you respond instantly.
It’s more than wealth, and beauty that social magnet’s can offer. They can offer a release of stress through their fun loving attitude, or a life-saving breath of genuineness from the tsunami of societal superficialness. These people most often have a higher social status than yourself, they know more people, in larger social circles and you wouldn’t mind a little social boost yourself.
How You Can Become Social Magnet
The key to becoming a social magnet and connecting with others is to provide something of value. Whether it be wealth, a sense of fun, wisdom or maturity, as you combine values and as you work on your own qualities, you’ll start to notice - coupled with your positive attitude - that people will be calling you to find out what the Friday night event will be, or asking you business advice. Don’t let them down. Your value is a virus… and you’ll spread around.
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5 responses so far ↓
1 milo // Aug 6, 2007 at 6:07 pm
Awesome article. its the kinda stuff that already makes sense but you outlined it well. Your getting better at writing!
2 Leonid Shalimov // Aug 6, 2007 at 7:06 pm
Fantastic article, interesting ideas. It’s great I found something I won’t really see on other blogs. Time to get off onto those cocktail parties ;).
Cheers.
3 scott // Aug 8, 2007 at 8:00 pm
The trick is to get those areas worked out! Cool.
4 jonah // Aug 10, 2007 at 11:09 am
Whenever Richard Cory went down town,
We people on the pavement looked at him:
He was a gentleman from sole to crown,
Clean favored and imperially slim.
And he was always quietly arrayed,
And he was always human when he talked;
But still he fluttered pulses when he said,
“Good morning,”
And he glittered when he walked.
And he was rich, yes richer than a king,
And admirably schooled in every grace:
In fine, we thought that he was everything
To make us wish we were in his place.
So on we worked, and waited for the light,
And went without the meat and cursed the bread;
And Richard Cory one calm summer night,
Went home and put a bullet through his head.
5 Geoff Farnsworth // Aug 17, 2007 at 9:32 am
Great tips! Identifying, expressing and orienting your life around your values is very attractive.
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